So, last week I had an epiphany about life. It really doesn't matter. What I mean is that, each day could be your last day. And, even though it's inconceivable for most people, you will die. You will eventually die. Your friends will eventually die. Your loved ones will eventually die. Everything you love will be gone and taken away from you. EVERYTHING.
So what are we supposed to do? Some people find troubles like these too much to handle, and opt to leave us. It's really sad, that they would think there is no other option. Some people just get depressed and stay that way forever, not knowing they are depressed. Some people let it get to them, and it makes them bitter, it makes them angry. I was one of those people, actually still am. It makes me angry and bitter to have to know that everything I love will be taken away from me. But, last week after having thinking about it for a while, I came to a realization. If I spend all my time angry at the fact that life will inevitably crush you, how will I ever be able to appreciate the good times? What's the point of going through the full ride if I'm not going to enjoy it?
So I've decided to try to change something about me. My overall negativity. I wasn't always this way. My brother tells me that I used to not be so serious and that I was much more social back when I was a child. I think he is right, I know he is right. I don't want to be so angry anymore, I don't want to be so negative anymore, I want to be more forgiving, I want to be happy for a lack of better words. What does it mean to be happy? Is it when you don't have anything to complain about? Or, could it be that happiness is just momentary? What do you think?
I know it's not going to be easy to completely change my outlook. And, I know that a little bit of cynicism is always good for prudence. However, I no longer want to be angry and have such a short temper with the people that I love. Think about all the recent things that have pissed you off. Now, think about how differently you would see things if you were on your deathbed. Do you think any of those things would still bother you? Some people are blessed with the ability to always look on the bright side. Wouldn't that be awesome?
Why am I writing this? Why am I sharing this with, what could potentially be a mixture of dozens of people who do and don't give a fuck about me? Because, for all my life I have been extremely careful in who I allowed to get to know me. I've been extremely careful in what I let them know about me. I've always been blatantly honest, but now I am letting anyone who wants to know me to do so. Anyone who will bother to read this entire blog.
"Aim at perfection in everything, though in most things it is unattainable. However, they who aim at it, and persevere, will come much nearer to it than those whose laziness and despondency make them give it up as unattainable."
"God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things which should be changed,
and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other."
